don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
