I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just found puke in my bra..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
