I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
