I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
