5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
