It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
