if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
