I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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