i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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