You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
