therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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