I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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