Your tits are I can't wait for
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sext me about skeletons
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
