wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
