I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
