420 ftw
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
