My pussy is not your playground.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
