Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
