we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
