Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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