U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
