I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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