My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
