Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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