Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
