Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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