after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
