Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize