...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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