hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
