I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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