He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
