yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
