New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
