I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
