Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
