So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
