giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
