people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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