Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
