We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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