ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
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so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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