My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
