I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
