I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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