He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
