I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
