Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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