Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Ladies don't puke and tell
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
