Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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