Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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