I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
