upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
