She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
