If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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