She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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