I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize