No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
