Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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