i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
